- Open relationship? Planning a threesome? Playing separately?
This can be a particularly tricky, espeicially if you are in a relationship and want to start the dialogue. Here are some quick rules that I came up with while exploring these areas. This isn’t a complete list, but things that I’ve learned along the way.
- - If you’re planning on going to a club, bathhouse, sex party, or wherever, discuss beforehand what you guys want to do and make agreements! For example, if you are going together, maybe you want to play together only (or you want to play separately), whatever the case, it’s very important to discuss before-hand what will be happening and making an agreement, and sticking to it.
- When you guys arrive at your location, always check in with each other to make sure the other is comfortable. For example, IF you guys decide to wander off by yourselves, it’s good to discuss about checking in, and when to meet back.
- When deciding on hooking up/groping/dancing/making out with someone, make sure you remember what the agreement was before you left your house. For example, if you both decided at the beginning of the evening that you will only play together, and you like one person, and your partner doesn’t, remember to honor your agreement, politely move on, and find someone else. Maybe have a secret word between you 2, to say whether you like someone or not.
- If you are not comfortable about something, at any point, SAY SO(maybe use that secret code word again)! Maybe you agreed to something before you left the house, and now you’re not sure if you’re comfortable. Communicate this to your partner! You can always renegotiate. Your comfort and you taking care of one another is the top priority!
- Communication is very important when it comes to this