I always hear a lot of guys talking about how upset they are that they are single. How horrible it is to not have a boyfriend, or significant other. There is this sense that something is missing, and that we are not complete when we don’t have a partner. A lot of times, people equate being single with it just being a phase, and that you will come out of it soon (sound familiar?).
I know for me, for a long time, having a boyfriend was one of those goals in life I aspired to, so I could escape being lonely. It wasn’t the fact that I was trying to escape being alone, its that I realized that I was trying to avoid being with myself because, I didn’t see myself as adequate. My adequacy depended on the affections of another. In order for me to figure out what makes me adequate, I had to learn how to be content with myself, and in order for that to happen, I needed to be single. What being single means to me, is having the space to connect with yourself, and figuring out what makes you happy. It’s also discovering ways to enjoy life, that doesn’t require a significant other.
So before we berate ourselves, and ask “What’s wrong with me?” or “Why can’t I find a boyfriend?”, lets take some time and ask, “What are some good things about me?” or “What are some things that I’m passionate about?”. Besides asking yourself these questions, its important to acknowledge the love you already have in your life, be it from Family members, or friends, and of course the love you have for yourself! I’m not saying that it will be easy, but you’ll soon find out that being alone, doesn’t mean that you’re lonely .